Tuesday 15 May 2012

Tricks For Kicks!

Hi there chaps and chapesses,

Gosh, I have been so busy, I don't know where to start - I just DON'T know how all the other writers do all the stuff they do - I really don't - takes me an hour to compose a bloody Tweet!

Anyhoo - part of the business - as in 'busy'ness is a new release for you to have a squizz at - Tricks For Kicks is a new anthology by the lovely Xcite Books people crammed full of lovely saucy tales. It contains my story, I Am Matilda Jenks - here's the blurb and a little taster...

Quiet and overlooked by day, hotel waitress, Matilda Jenks is maid to the most self important guests and serves with timidity and submission. By night, though, she revels in her role as Ms Tilly Spanks catering for the guests' more nocturnal requirements and takes great pleasure in deceiving her unwitting clients.

I am Matilda Jenks.
I am unremarkable. I am of average height, average build. My eyes are a nondescript blue – they appear brown in some lights and even hazel in others. My hair is what used to be called “mousy”, but I’m guessing even that has a fancy name now – perhaps “dusky suede”. God forbid we are average. For me, though, being average is an advantage. A certain physical anonymity is just what I require. Yes, exactly what I need.
To be completely unmemorable. The ultimate disguise. Even my one distinguishing feature is manufactured; a tattoo of a black cat on the outer edge of my left hand, the tail snaking up and around my pinkie. If anyone were to pay me close attention, they could identify me from this one unusual addition. But they don’t. I may even be talking about you …
I left school and worked in a hotel to fund my way through college. You know the kind – all fat business men in suits being important. The studying fell by the wayside but the uniform stayed and here I am talking to you with a tray in my hand.
Let me show you what I mean …

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