Sunday, 29 November 2015

Skull Pants

Some days I feel blue so I just pull on my favourite skull pants. 
It makes me feel a bit better.


Click on those sexy lips for more Sunday Sinners

Sinful Sunday

I am So annoyed at myself - I lost my tickets for the Peaches gig on Wednesday 2nd at Glasgow Art School - she is my HERO - I found out last night when I was knitting a dick to wear. Please watch this video - she is so amazing! I LOVE her. If by some miracle you have spare tickets to sell (it is SOLD OUT), please give me shout! (I lost my friend's too.) These skull pants will basically be worn everyday for the rest of my bloody life I'm so fed up about it!

Friday, 27 November 2015

Tabitha's Black Friday Erotic Extravaganza!

Well hello!
Love it or hate it, Black Friday is bringing you some erotic bargains today!
Grab a selection of my ebooks at a 25% discount at All Romance Ebooks!

I'm SO excited about this one Rocks Off are taking 50% of EVERYTHING on their site today! Including my new Ruby Glow sex toy and orgasm maker
Let me say that again - FIFTY PERCENT OFF EVERYTHING! And - if you spend £40 you get a free Bunny Toy bullet... quick now - go!

This is your chance to try my new sex toy Ruby Glow - pleasure for the seated lady for less than £20! Comes with a free Brit Babes ebook and orgasms! Read my full 'so I invented a sex toy' chat about it HERE and buy it HALF PRICE today, Black Friday only HERE!

So enjoy! Have fun! Buy from the safety of your home and wait for the pleasure to come!
Lots of love Tabitha x x x

Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Food, Sex and Body Image

Food, Sex and Body Image - One of the Events That Helped Me Get Over an Eating Disorder

I can’t believe the prompt is food and sex! Wicked Wednesday always seems to tie with things I’ve been ruminating on…

*Trigger warning – in this post I discuss body dysmorphia, eating disorder and vagina size.

Ok, so I don’t share much about my inner demons here – this blog is my happy place so I usually pour all that into my stories and leave this about the giggles of life. But today, it felt right to share this story…
I suffered for many years with a skewed vision of myself. My growing up years where my body became a woman’s coincided with the fashion to look emaciated – remember ‘heroin chic’? So for a person who already felt ungainly, it was hard. I developed various eating problems and try as I might, never got terribly skinny.
One day, I went to the sexual health nurse to get fitted for a diaphragm. In case you don’t know, they are rubber Frisbees which you cover with spermicide and insert into your vagina before sex as a method of contraception. The nurse had laid out several of these little beauties ranging from, well, let’s face it, bigger than what I thought should fit, to what the hell is that?  Before I’d even taken my pants off, she looked me up and down and selected one of these flexible passion killers from the larger end of the scale. What? I’m tall, but I wasn’t a big lass (not from all that exercise and ‘dieting’).
“Um,” I giggled breathlessly, “Are you sure you want to try that size first?” I was horrified. My mother told me when I was a girl all about how to look after my pelvic floor muscles – telling me,  not only will it help during those delicate moments on a trampoline, but will also give me and my husband-to-be a very wonderful sex life. I took her lessons very seriously from then on. I felt sure nothing of that size would comfortably fit up there.
And here’s where my body image got even more confused and insecure.
“Oh no, we might actually need bigger. You see, slim ladies carry less weight all over their bodies, including the inside of their vaginas.”
“You mean, if you lose weight, fat disappears on the inside too?”
“Of course,” she said, snapping the wrists of her rubber gloves and bade me lie back. 

I jammed my legs shut, visions of gentlemen caller’s voices echoing for days inside my cavernous chuff. All the pelvic floor exercise in the world doesn’t prepare you for that thought.
“But, I’m not that slim, try a smaller one.” I was panicking. More images of sausages being thrown up a close bombarded me and I wanted to run away.
“Well, the problem is, if the diaphragm isn’t big enough, the penis might hook up on the inside of the cap and sperm might get in to the cervix.”
But, from what my brain was imagining, the penis would not even hit the sides, let alone make it all the way up to my bloody cervix.
In the end, it wasn’t too bad and she did her best to reassure me. The fact that she had to push pretty hard to get this thing inserted went a little way to calming me down.
So even a visit to the gynaecologist had me confused about food.
There was only one thing for it. I needed to sort out my vagina with cake.
I went to the most beautiful deli I could and chose an enormous chocolate muffin. I took it home carefully, made myself a large latte and got nice and comfortable on my chaise longue. Then I shoved the entire cake up my fanny.
Joking. JOKING!!!
Click pic for recipe
But the experience did make me start thinking about internal implications of an external aesthetic. What if a little bit of fat was needed in other places too? Like to keep the internal organs cosy and safe, or plump up the boobs a bit - or what about the brain? It must be needed for brain function, surely. Who knows, maybe we need a little ‘happy fat’.
I began to take it a bit easier on myself – and began to feel happier, healthier and best of all, with a cake fuelled vagina, sexier.

So the next time you’re thinking of saying no to cake – remember – your vagina might need it!
That’s all I have to say about that.

If you need any help with sexual health – Brook is always a fab place to start and if you think you have body or food issues please talk to someone you trust and your doctor.

PS. This post came from a place and time when I was insecure about every part of my body, not just the privates - this event was something that began to put things in perspective for me. If you're ever feeling insecure about your lady garden (and you really shouldn't ever) please read this amazing post by my wonderful friend, Exhibit Unadorned - who says, "cunts are magical things" - and I'm sure we all agree, yes, yes they are!

Monday, 23 November 2015

Doodlin' and Canoodlin'


Masturbation Monday time (hooray!)

Do you doodle? Do you canoodle? Are you a doodlin' canoodler?

I doodle all day long, on any bits of paper nearby. Here's a couple from yesterday and today - one is from when I was researching squirting and one is from an annoying phonecall (probably to the bank or sommat dull).

Can you guess which is which?

Angry but artily so...

Count the damp lady curls!
(answers in the comments please
for a super prize!)

I was inspired to put these doodles up because the prompt (mmm, mmmm, MMMMM! HOT! thanks Kayla) - reminded me of my research...

I know my words and possibly my drawing too will not get you all hot and bothered this week so I will leave you with that prompt... yup...

Click on the big purple box for more Masturbation Monday!

PS - I'm serious about the prize for counting the pubes in that doodle - whoever leaves me the most creative answer will win a Rocks Off bullet vibe RO60 (it's shorter than the one shown there) - I have a couple left over from my Ruby Glow prototyping! So if you wanna play - remember I'll be sending it by post...
Let's say next Masturbation Monday is the closing date. x x x

Monday, 9 November 2015

Sexy Books in Paperback!

Guess what? My Clockwork Butterfly Trilogy is now available in paperback as well as ebook form!

If you like your erotica peppered with end of the world dystopian action and plenty of peril and sex... please, step this way...

Book 1
Book 3 - the climax
Book 2 - a prequel

I was hoping to take a suitcase full down to Sexpo and do a proper launch, but I'm afraid, life has rather popped a spanner in the works - so now I have a big old pile of these babies looking for new homes!
If you would like to buy one from me direct and you are in the UK, please Paypal £6.99 for Taking Flight and The Meeting Point - £8.50 for A Clockwork Butterfly to - I'll take care of the P&P for free! Remember to state which book you want.
If you are outside UK please click on the book covers to be taken to your local option.

So I guess I'd better give you a reason to part with your cash and invest your -precious time in reading this story...

Thursday, 5 November 2015

A Visit to the Mechanic #EuphOff part 2

I won! I won the #EuphOff!!!
Mamma would be so proud! This story right here is the BADDEST erotica - it's official! And so is the beautifully narrated Oleander Plume's entry (matron) Literally Literary. Thank you Mrs Jane from Chintz Curtain for all the saucy awful fun! x x x Click here for all the terrible delights :)

So here we are - the Euphoff part two.

I'm sure you'll agree, sometimes erotica can feel cheap and sordid - today though,  I've opted to share a more serious and educated tone to my work to show you just how sensitive, thoughtful and eloquent the genre can be...


A Visit to the Mechanic

He wipes oil blackened fingers on his blue overalls and winks at me from under the car bonnet.
“I’m here for my service,” I say, checking the floor for stray nuts and bolts before approaching him.
“I’ll say.” He closes the car and looks me up and down. “You look like you’re long overdue a good tinker under the hood.”
I tremble.
“I daresay I could do with a little oil change…”
He begins to undo his filthy overalls and comes closer.

Wednesday, 4 November 2015

The Shaft - part 2

So this post for Wicked Wednesday follows on from my Masturbation Monday this week - readers weren't too happy at where I left the action so here you go... The prompt for WW is 'Happy Place'. Enjoy! And click on the rainbow for more...

We stand looking at each other as the speaker hums. The atmosphere is electric. I reach for his jaw and cup it gently, the stubble prickling at my palm. He licks his lips and takes a slight step in toward me.
“So, I’ve been wondering,” he says, reaching for my jaw, mirroring my touch on him. “Just what were you doing before I knocked on your door?”
The blush rises again and my eyes flick to the guitar before I can stop them. His grin is lustful and completely self-satisfied.
He is so close now, my pubic hair and hardening cock tickle at his belly. I can feel the tip of his, rising up to caress underneath my balls. A shiver goes through my entire body and goosebumps spread over my flesh.
“Show me,” he says and tilts his head up to kiss me.
I meet him half way and devour his coffee flavour kisses. We meet tongue for tongue, lap for lap, suck for suck. It’s the best and horniest kiss of my like and I'm so hard I'm walking that line between pleasure and pain. I pull back a little.
“Show you what?” I ask gasping and panting. Lust filling every part of me as we wrap our arms around each other and become engulfed in our need. Oh fuck yeah. This feels so good, so right.
“Show me how you fuck your guitar.”

Monday, 2 November 2015

The Shaft...

So it's Masturbation Monday and Ms Kayla really got us going with the prompt this week! As did Mister Exhibit A with his glorious Sinful Sunday post, Cat - he's kindly let me post the picture too.

Here's a wee bit from a story I'm writing which I was reminded of by the two above x x

The clouds part and the glorious shaft of sun slides through the window over my bed and glints off my guitar. Yes, I think, that would help. A long slow hump with the only thing that truly understands me. My guitar. I reluctantly leave the comfort of my bed to set up the amp and plug everything in. When I’m back on top of my sheets and positioned in the warm rays, I slide the guitar over my groin and relish the first stirrings of wood beneath wood.

Sunday, 1 November 2015

From Above

The theme for Sinful Sunday this month is 'Shoot From Above'.


For more, more, more... click on the lips x x x

Sinful Sunday